This job came just in time.  Look what appeared in the Richmond Times-Dispatch this week (you may have to scroll down a bit).  The beggars are planning to auction the house on the courthouse steps in 3 weeks if I don’t catch up on the mortgage.  It reminds me of the old song we used to sing “You must pay the rent (napkin held under the nose as an imitation mustache of the mean banker), I can’t pay the rent (napkin shifted to one’s hair as an impromptu hair bow for the besieged damsel), I’ll pay the rent (napkin shifted to one’s neck as a bowtie for the late arriving hero), Curses, foiled again”, says the mean banker as he slinks off.

Fortunately, I borrowed some money from Nana when I was in Connecticut (she was earning 0.1% on it and I will pay her 4%, so it’s a win-win) and will use it to bring the mortgage current next week and foil those bankers.  I learned a few things in playing this game of chicken with the “too big to fails”.  One, if you really need help, they aren’t about to help you.  I have a 6.625% interest rate but can’t refinance at the current 3.875% rate because I don’t have a pay stub to show them.  For the same reason, I don’t qualify for any of the modification programs that Obama often cites among his accomplishments.  This is true even if I was making money trading, which I’m not.  It’s not predictable enough for them to count it.  So many small business people who are struggling with the weak economy, making some money one month, breaking even the next, are shut out of these programs.  Two, it takes about 5 months in Virginia for the loan servicer to foreclose on you.  I learned that the average here is 5-6 months, but it varies a lot state to state.  Three, there are a lot of underemployed lawyers.  The notice appeared in the paper on Wednesday and today, Friday, I received 5 or 6 solicitations in the mail – some addressed simply to “owner” – from ‘debt relief attorneys’.  Four, sometimes lemons do turn into lemonade.  By paying all of the back interest now, I will be able to deduct it from my now substantial 2012 income so that the gov’t effectively pays 1/3 or so.  Had I paid it as scheduled, none of the 2011 interest would have been deductible because I had no income to deduct it from.  I’ll stop with this list now as a mercy to anyone still reading.

To cap off my first dadspam post, here is a video that resonates in a good way; the toothpaste, the hat in bed (I’ve done that), plus I always buy “select-a-sheet” paper towels.  Ill bet the guy doesn’t let the little things bother him.

Dear Dad/Tom,

Merry Christmas! We set this blog up for you so that you could take the creative energy behind your Dadspams^TM and turn it into something a few degrees more tangible. Now you’ll have an archive, you can incorporate images, and we can all keep up with what your doing and refer back to it. You can still e-mail links to those you want to be sure to inform.

This gift includes unlimited time spent helping you learn how to use WordPress, the software that manages this blog.

Love,

Will and Forrest